Swiss Noire Bienne Watch

Now we’ve done it…

Watchmakers are FURIOUS and luxury brands are LIVID, but WHO CARES? We made this Swiss watch for YOU!

How dare Stauer! We broke the unwritten rule in Switzerland. Chaos erupted at this year’s Basel watch fair. The watch making elite attacked me in French, German and Italian (with the occasional British accent), outraged that Stauer would engineer a luxury — Swiss-made timepiece — at this extremely low price. The price they said it couldn’t be done, but we are doing it anyway. Now you get to wear the spectacular Swiss-Made Stauer Noire Bienne for our exclusive Stauer price!

Join the luxury revolution. The crown princes of watchmaking worried that their exorbitant yacht vacations in Monaco would be in jeopardy. For years they convinced the world that Swiss luxury should cost THOUSANDS. But in reality, those thousands went to Swiss bank accounts, six-figure supermodels and ski chalets and NOT into the engineering of the watches. Shame on them. It’s time for a change. You deserve it.

You CAN own an exquisitely engineered Swiss timepiece without overspending. The only thing that matters is the machine, so we went to the factory in Bienne and met with Francois, a fourth generation watch builder who makes masterpieces that sell for $5,000 and more. Working together we smashed the once unbreakable price barrier. The shockwaves have turned the luxury watch world upside- down. That’s why the Swiss declared war on us. We consider it a compliment.

The industry cursed me but the buyers were thrilled. It was like the walls came down and watch lovers were set free. The cable was broken. Now everyone can experience the cachet of a genuine Swiss timepiece. Next, I’ll begin work on the 20-room mansion for $30,000 and an Italian sports car for $3,300. How about a private jet for $12,000? If we can break the Swiss price by this much, who knows what’s next?